CHANGE COSTS, BUT THE TRUTH IS FREE

Finishing The Last Airbender was very rough for me- albeit it was a really great series. It made me realize why I love anime and why I identify with many of its characters. It’s all about the hero’s journey, overcoming self imposed limitations, and self discovery.  It really made me think of my journey and my duality as a person. At a very young age I had difficulty connecting with others. My father sat me down and insisted that I had to meet people where they are, from that point on I created different versions of myself to build connections. Truthfully, the connections never last because people can sense inauthenticity and I grow fatigued with feigning this cultivated persona that I am less than what I am. We aren’t just one dimensional beings. Who I am at my core, is just a kind, philanthropic, cerebral person who loves adventure, simplicity, books, anime and conventions, horror, deep conversations, and bird watching- boring I know, but that’s who I am.   I appreciate my father’s advice and concerns, but I now know that in that moment I was being told that I wasn’t enough, subconsciously.  Comedy has helped me face my uncomfortable truths and fears of not being good enough, as well as my shortcomings of being misunderstood.  Since I’m deciding to embark on this journey I must be true to who I am, so that the right people can gravitate towards me, if they choose to do so, so that I can find my own tribe.  Going on stage and not being myself will only keep me stagnant as a comedian and prolong me finding my comedic voice, but it will also delay my growth as a human being and I’ve already spent too much time and netted nothing from doing that. It’s time for a change.